"Scarz To Starz"
I've been broke
Name thrown through dirt
I had to grind on one leg
& act like I wasn't even hurt
I was chosen for this hustle
It was his will at birth
He left it up to me to figure out my worth
Forgiveness, focus, fear
Once you learn to conquer all three
You'll finally feel free
Your scarz become your starz
Shinning clarity so you finally see
It's only God who will supply your every need
He turned up the heat
Pressure makes diamonds
Entrepreneur & I'm only 23
Wade in the water little soldier
Be still & keep your eyes on the dream
& even though you're fed up
You gotta keep your head up
See it through & act on your gut
It's the game of life
But my words are my weapon
I don't need no knife
You can call me queen pin
Loyal queen to my pen
Like we're husband and wife
Be careful of the company you choose
Especially a person who has nothing to lose
I was once lost but now I'm found
I got something to prove
God wouldn't have shown me what he can do
'Cause even through the mess I was blessed
I got humbled to my knees
Confessed the sins of my chest
& I know where I've been
So I know I'm headed towards to my best
& only God can judge me
A'int to comparison to the rest
With God's glory
I'll always get what's for me
This a'int just a story
I've been 10 toes down
I'm up next
"So I Write"
Scared to speak, so I write
Dare to live out your dreams
While changing a life
Bound deep, inside the White wall
Lies my abandoned soul
Trapped safely, in Black darkness
Full with empty words…
So I’ll keep writing until I suffocate
I’ll keep writing until my people straight
I’ll keep writing until,
until my words fill this emptiness of this existence
we call life.
“To make the change from the odd whispering,
‘I want to be White’…
Hidden in the aspirations of my people
To why should I be White?
I am a Negro and beautiful!”
No shade to the racist
But wait, I’m getting to ahead of myself
Let me get back to the basics
A, B, C…c…c…
Let me put my glasses on so maybe I can see
See past the fucked up morals
& bullshit that goes on in today’s society
Especially how niggas only looking for the titties and ass
Instead of a queen with class
Man I hate calling my niggas, niggas
“When they are just caterpillars
Prisoners to the streets that conceived them
So If I respect you,
We unify and stop the enemy from killing us”
But my nigga YG making millions "My Nigga, My Nigga"
Ain’t no need to be so serious
I just want a Man
That is as much King
As I am Queen!
But until then...
It’s just me and my pen
& with it I will crush you
You could never survive a day in my hood
Shout out to the WEST!
Rest in peace to Pac
Long live the rose that grew from the block
Try living within the blue lines
Hustling by making a rhyme
I’m just a young Black queen trying to look out for my kind
But I’m a rare breed that’s slowly dying
"Anyone can take everything from you,
but no one can take your education.
Anyone…can take…everything from you.
But no one can take your education!
So why are we still waiting?"
Waiting for the Malcolm X’s, Maya Angelou’s,
Rosa Park’s, Obama’s...
How many tears do I have to see?
Because a son being buried to early by his mama?
2017 and I’m still waiting to live out MLK’s dream!
But I refuse to let it be a dream deferred
Black nail polish
Black lives matter
Black is not just a color
It is a lifestyle....
This is not a poem
This is a declaration
I am not a writer
I am a visionary for this generation
Allow me to reintroduce myself
Scared to speak, so I write.
I left home in 2013
2 chase after my dreams...
I thought I'd never leave LA
Now cruising down La Brea is only in my day dreams
& every struggle I've faced along the way
Just taught me that this life ain't really what it seems
& now I hardly ever return
Nothing really feel the same anyways except how the tree burn
But I still talk 2 my peoples everyday
Just 2 let them know I'm okay
'Cause I'm out here alone in the A
Steady grindin' working 2 jobs while I find my way
From west coast beaches 2 southern peaches
Now I'm 3 hours ahead
Bringing life 2 every promise I ever said
Out here networking with CEOs in Buckhead
& I won't stop grindin' till all my loved ones fed...
God bless the cluttered soul
That wanders aimlessly with no place to go
But in the pain she found a road
Less traveled by & no one even knows
She doesn't just live
Demobilized, she keeps her head held high
Her beautiful smile, suppressing 1,000 cries
& like Maya Angelou
"Still I Rise"
People say they down for you
But their "support" remains on the sidelines
M.I.A. during my struggle
But always seem to come back around just on time
To see me pick myself back up
With God's help
'Cause that's just enough
To continue to grind, shine, & turn out just fine
"The Black woman is the most unprotected, unloved woman on Earth.
She is the only flower on Earth, that grows unwatered."
By the harsh realities that surround her
"This too shall pass..."
Making moves with a leg cast
But quitting is not an option
Sleepless nights, early mornings, solitude, exhaustion
& "Still I Rise"
A beautiful rose
Grown from the cracks of 'Lost Angeles'
Say my name
To order my steps & remaining faithful
Say my name
But to them...it's all just a game
Treating every woman the same...at the same time
Say my name
Q U E E N
Far from weak & don't you ever forget it
Now you're looking for all my qualities in the next chick
But baby I'm 1 of a kind
So you might as well just quit
God bless the cluttered soul
That wanders aimlessly down her own road
But ain't hard to find
Just a 'Lost Angel' flying blind
A willing vessel & cluttered soul
Life's Obstacles Suppressing Time
Ridin' with our deepest fears
Like they're our partner in crime
Proof that we can walk through darkness
Yet be at our prime
When your circumstances change
So does the focus of your mind
So we bury what's inside
In hopes that it'll die
& it's painful reality never come alive
But still...continue 2 strive
Lost in a crowded maze
Stuck in a medicated daze
Craving the sensations 2 inhale & fly astray
Back into the days
The old familiar ways
Before the tornado came around & blew you far away
2 an unfamiliar place
Yet, without warning, you handle the storm with grace
The struggle is about...
Defying mind over matter
Got you questioning if what your chasing
Is really what truly matters
Now you've hit rock bottom
Strung out on the words of the pastor
Praying God's answers 2 your questions get answered faster
Success takes self patience
That's the key factor
& trusting God's plan with your fate
'Cause he's the real master
The rest will fall in place
Grind smart & seek laughter
You have 2 stay down until you're found
Then you'll be ready for the next chapter...
From the city of high hopes
Fast living, slow burning, steady chasing
The streets, the money, the game
I left my heart in LA
The love I had just wasn’t the same
My love for LA is...
As deep as nigga’s love is for the streets
As deep as their love is for everyone woman they meet
As deep as summer bullets in LA
Click clack, click clack
Watch your back
Have a way deceiving the eyes
I’m from Los Scandalous
Where the city, people, & dreams
Are birthed from a concrete of lies
Listen, Pac said it best
All he ever did was spit what was on his chest
& That’s real
He told us…
“Ain’t no love, no mercy, & no friends
All you got is yourself in the end”
& That these streets are cold
But it’s still bros over hoes
Niggas dying over the code
Locked up till they old
Old, alone, & tired
Don’t you ever get tired of pretending?
Or maybe you’ve said enough lies to convince yourself
That your character is measured by your wealth
But is your soul rich?
Only true goals is fucking the next bitch
I fucking left my heart in LA
But I’ll be back to get its pieces
I left to find something real
While niggas just flex Swap Meet Jesus pieces
Hanging out with the same fake homies
In the streets doing the same dumb shit
'A hunnit days, a hunnit nights'
Rest in peace to all the innocent lives
& They wonder why one time never treats us right
It’s an internal war we’re trying to fight
You can’t get to where you want to go,
without appreciating where you’ve once been.
Once was my everything,
but has now become nothing more then a distant friend.
I’ll always love LA
I’m a product of it,
& I turned out okay…
I come from hot breezes and no civilization
Being ordered around by the “white man”
I come from the laws of Jim Crow,not being allowed to vote,
speak, nor participate with anybody that had skin like “Master”
I come from noble and admirable leaders:
Martin Luther King Jr., Sojourner Truth, Fredrick Douglass,
Booker T. Washington, Tuskegee Airman,Langston Hughes,
Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman are just a few in short
Despite the consequences
They voluntarily took the insinuative to take charge
With their voices and actions
They individually spoke the words
We were all too frightened to speak
I come from strong diligent leaders with visions
Visions for the African-American race far beyond the qualifications
of cotton picking or sitting in the back of the bus
But visions like someday a little boy from Hawaii
Could grow up to be the first African-American President
Now in this poem I have stated “they”, “we”, and “I”
Not fairly specifying the contents of the three
We are a race that has overcome much adversity
They are the ancestors in which have sacrificed their lives
To insure a better future for us
& I am a young African-American female
With a dream to simply become a writer
A dream that wouldn’t have the slightest chance of coming true
Without the vision of my ancestors
The true inspiration for this poem
Though as pleasurable as it seems
It inevitably turns into another sex induced scheme
I fret trying a new flavor
Never amounting to my expectations of what I savor
& Looks can be deceiving
Though I knew this before we began
This time, no different then my last
Deja vu...of my past
In too deep with a person
Who remains in shallow waters...
"Pressure 'N Black Diamondz"
Know my value, Show respect
I been grindin' 10 toes down
I'd be damned if I wasn't up next
Move in silence, protect your peace
Ignore the haters when they speak
All I do is flick my wrist
As I check my bucket list
Like check, check, check
"Bitch be humble"
Sleepin' less, gridin' more
God opening up doors
Now I'm managing Michael Kors
A job I ain't even apply for
Ain't no need to keep score
Put God first, & you'll soar
They see me shinin' & they hatin'
Praying on my downfall
Well silly spec keep waitin'
I ain't new 2 this, I'm tru 2 this
Couldn't stop me if you was Satan
See I can't fully be down with a system
That ain't down with me
History books ain't nothing about my history
What happened to the arts?
We need more ARTS!
More souls that that spark
For the freedom to share what's hidden in the dark
Lack of creativity and compassion in the class
Kids only working to just "get by" and pass
I remember being told...
"Aim lower, think smaller, I don't understand what you mean"
That I never be successful living out my dreams
Never got an "A" on your tests
But by the looks of me now, I guess
Everybody and everything ain't always what it seems
How are you qualified to teach me?
Because you got a degree?
Is your purpose of service or greed?
See teachers ain't teaching us
These books...the content not deep enough
Tell me how can you really put a grade on someone's progression
Reasons why my people in a recession
Struggling trynna make it
Got us measuring ourselves in relations to some fake shit
New Slaves, new age depression ..
Can't get mad at the generation beneath you
If you feeding them lies
Don't bite the hand that feeds you
Even if it bleeds you