"Scarz To Starz"

I've been broke

Heartbroken

Name thrown through dirt

I had to grind on one leg

& act like I wasn't even hurt

I was chosen for this hustle

It was his will at birth

He left it up to me to figure out my worth

Forgiveness, focus, fear

Once you learn to conquer all three

You'll finally feel free

Your scarz become your starz

Shinning clarity so you finally see

It's only God who will supply your every need

He turned up the heat

Pressure makes diamonds

Entrepreneur & I'm only 23

Wade in the water little soldier

Be still & keep your eyes on the dream

& even though you're fed up

You gotta keep your head up

See it through & act on your gut

It's the game of life

But my words are my weapon

I don't need no knife

You can call me queen pin

Loyal queen to my pen

Like we're husband and wife

Be careful of the company you choose

Especially a person who has nothing to lose

I was once lost but now I'm found

I got something to prove

God wouldn't have shown me what he can do

'Cause even through the mess I was blessed

I got humbled to my knees

Confessed the sins of my chest

& I know where I've been

So I know I'm headed towards to my best

& only God can judge me

A'int to comparison to the rest

With God's glory

I'll always get what's for me

This a'int just a story

I've been 10 toes down

I'm up next

 

"So I Write"

Scared to speak, so I write

Dare to live out your dreams

While changing a life

Bound deep, inside the White wall

Lies my abandoned soul

Trapped safely, in Black darkness

Full with empty words…

 

“I…Cannot…Breathe”

So I’ll keep writing until I suffocate

I’ll keep writing until my people straight

I’ll keep writing until,

until my words fill this emptiness of this existence

we call life.

“To make the change from the odd whispering,

‘I want to be White’…

Hidden in the aspirations of my people

To why should I be White?

I am a Negro and beautiful!”

No shade to the racist

But wait, I’m getting to ahead of myself

Let me get back to the basics

A, B, C…c…c…

Hold on

Let me put my glasses on so maybe I can see

See past the fucked up morals

& bullshit that goes on in today’s society

Especially how niggas only looking for the titties and ass

Instead of a queen with class

Man I hate calling my niggas, niggas

“When they are just caterpillars

Prisoners to the streets that conceived them

So If I respect you,

We unify and stop the enemy from killing us”

But my nigga YG making millions "My Nigga, My Nigga"

Ain’t no need to be so serious

New slaves...

 

I just want a Man

That is as much King

As I am Queen!

 

But until then...

It’s just me and my pen

& with it I will crush you

You could never survive a day in my hood

Shout out to the WEST!

Rest in peace to Pac

Long live the rose that grew from the block

Try living within the blue lines

Hustling by making a rhyme

I’m just a young Black queen trying to look out for my kind

But I’m a rare breed that’s slowly dying

"Anyone can take everything from you,

but no one can take your education.

Anyone…can take…everything from you.

But no one can take your education!

So why are we still waiting?"

Waiting for the Malcolm X’s, Maya Angelou’s,

Rosa Park’s, Obama’s...

How many tears do I have to see?

Because a son being buried to early by his mama?

2017 and I’m still waiting to live out MLK’s dream!

But I refuse to let it be a dream deferred

 

Wake

Up

Black America!

Black nail polish

Black car

Black shoes

Black bag

Black lives matter

Black is not just a color

It is a lifestyle....

 

This is not a poem

This is a declaration

I am not a writer

I am a visionary for this generation

 

Ahem

Allow me to reintroduce myself

 

Scared to speak, so I write.

 

"God Sent"

I left home in 2013

2 chase after my dreams...

I thought I'd never leave LA

Now cruising down La Brea is only in my day dreams

& every struggle I've faced along the way

Just taught me that this life ain't really what it seems

& now I hardly ever return

Nothing really feel the same anyways except how the tree burn

But I still talk 2 my peoples everyday

Just 2 let them know I'm okay

'Cause I'm out here alone in the A

Steady grindin' working 2 jobs while I find my way

From west coast beaches 2 southern peaches

Now I'm 3 hours ahead

Bringing life 2 every promise I ever said

Out here networking with CEOs in Buckhead

& I won't stop grindin' till all my loved ones fed...

"Cluttered Soul"

God bless the cluttered soul

That wanders aimlessly with no place to go

But in the pain she found a road

Less traveled by & no one even knows

 

She doesn't just live

She thrives

Demobilized, she keeps her head held high

Her beautiful smile, suppressing 1,000 cries

& like Maya Angelou

"Still I Rise"

 

People say they down for you

But their "support" remains on the sidelines

M.I.A. during my struggle

But always seem to come back around just on time

To see me pick myself back up

With God's help

'Cause that's just enough

To continue to grind, shine, & turn out just fine

 

"The Black woman is the most unprotected, unloved woman on Earth.

She is the only flower on Earth, that grows unwatered."

Unbothered

By the harsh realities that surround her

 

"This too shall pass..."

Making moves with a leg cast

But quitting is not an option

Sleepless nights, early mornings, solitude, exhaustion

& "Still I Rise"

A beautiful rose

Grown from the cracks of 'Lost Angeles'

Say my name

Allowing God

To order my steps & remaining faithful

Say my name

But to them...it's all just a game

Treating every woman the same...at the same time

Say my name

 

Q U E E N

Far from weak & don't you ever forget it

Now you're looking for all my qualities in the next chick

But baby I'm 1 of a kind

So you might as well just quit

 

God bless the cluttered soul

That wanders aimlessly down her own road

But ain't hard to find

Just a 'Lost Angel' flying blind

A willing vessel & cluttered soul

"Lost"

Life's Obstacles Suppressing Time

Ridin' with our deepest fears

Like they're our partner in crime

Proof that we can walk through darkness

Yet be at our prime

When your circumstances change

So does the focus of your mind

 

So we bury what's inside

In hopes that it'll die

& it's painful reality never come alive

But still...continue 2 strive

 

Lost in a crowded maze

Stuck in a medicated daze

Craving the sensations 2 inhale & fly astray

Back into the days

The old familiar ways

Before the tornado came around & blew you far away

2 an unfamiliar place

Yet, without warning, you handle the storm with grace

 

The struggle is about...

Defying mind over matter

Got you questioning if what your chasing

Is really what truly matters

Now you've hit rock bottom

Strung out on the words of the pastor

Praying God's answers 2 your questions get answered faster

 

Success takes self patience

That's the key factor

& trusting God's plan with your fate

'Cause he's the real master

The rest will fall in place

Grind smart & seek laughter

You have 2 stay down until you're found

Then you'll be ready for the next chapter...

"LA"

From the city of high hopes

Fast living, slow burning, steady chasing

The streets, the money, the game

I left my heart in LA

The love I had just wasn’t the same

My love for LA is...

As deep as nigga’s love is for the streets

As deep as their love is for everyone woman they meet

As deep as summer bullets in LA

Click clack, click clack

Watch your back

The lights

Have a way deceiving the eyes

I’m from Los Scandalous

Where the city, people, & dreams

Are birthed from a concrete of lies

Listen, Pac said it best

All he ever did was spit what was on his chest

& That’s real

He told us…

“Ain’t no love, no mercy, & no friends

All you got is yourself in the end”

& That these streets are cold

But it’s still bros over hoes

Niggas dying over the code

Locked up till they old

Old, alone, & tired

Don’t you ever get tired of pretending?

Or maybe you’ve said enough lies to convince yourself

That your character is measured by your wealth

But is your soul rich?

Only true goals is fucking the next bitch

I fucking left my heart in LA

But I’ll be back to get its pieces

I left to find something real

While niggas just flex Swap Meet Jesus pieces

Hanging out with the same fake homies

In the streets doing the same dumb shit

'A hunnit days, a hunnit nights'

Rest in peace to all the innocent lives

& They wonder why one time never treats us right

It’s an internal war we’re trying to fight

You can’t get to where you want to go,

without appreciating where you’ve once been.

Once was my everything,

but has now become nothing more then a distant friend.

I’ll always love LA

I’m a product of it,

& I turned out okay…

"Inspiration"

 

I come from hot breezes and no civilization

Being ordered around by the “white man”

I come from the laws of Jim Crow,not being allowed to vote,

speak, nor participate with anybody that had skin like “Master”

 

I come from noble and admirable leaders:

Martin Luther King Jr., Sojourner Truth, Fredrick Douglass,

Booker T. Washington, Tuskegee Airman,Langston Hughes,

Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman are just a few in short

 

Despite the consequences

They voluntarily took the insinuative to take charge

With their voices and actions

They individually spoke the words

We were all too frightened to speak

 

I come from strong diligent leaders with visions

Visions for the African-American race far beyond the qualifications

of cotton picking or sitting in the back of the bus

But visions like someday a little boy from Hawaii

Could grow up to be the first African-American President

 

Now in this poem I have stated “they”, “we”, and “I

Not fairly specifying the contents of the three

We are a race that has overcome much adversity

They are the ancestors in which have sacrificed their lives

To insure a better future for us

& I am a young African-American female

With a dream to simply become a writer

A dream that wouldn’t have the slightest chance of coming true

Without the vision of my ancestors

The true inspiration for this poem

"Bitter Lovers"

Though as pleasurable as it seems

It inevitably turns into another sex induced scheme

I fret trying a new flavor

Never amounting to my expectations of what I savor

& Looks can be deceiving

Though I knew this before we began

This time, no different then my last

Deja vu...of my past

In too deep with a person

Who remains in shallow waters...

"Pressure 'N Black Diamondz"

 

Know my value, Show respect

I been grindin' 10 toes down

I'd be damned if I wasn't up next

Move in silence, protect your peace

Ignore the haters when they speak

All I do is flick my wrist

As I check my bucket list

Like check, check, check

"Bitch be humble"

 

Sleepin' less, gridin' more

God opening up doors

Now I'm managing Michael Kors

A job I ain't even apply for

Ain't no need to keep score

Put God first, & you'll soar

 

They see me shinin' & they hatin'

Praying on my downfall

Well silly spec keep waitin'

I ain't new 2 this, I'm tru 2 this

Couldn't stop me if you was Satan

"Souls Cry"

See I can't fully be down with a system

That ain't down with me

History books ain't nothing about my history

What happened to the arts?

We need more ARTS!

More souls that that spark

For the freedom to share what's hidden in the dark

 

Lack of creativity and compassion in the class

Kids only working to just "get by" and pass

I remember being told...

"Aim lower, think smaller, I don't understand what you mean"

That I never be successful living out my dreams

Never got an "A" on your tests

But by the looks of me now, I guess

Everybody and everything ain't always what it seems

How are you qualified to teach me?

Because you got a degree?

Is your purpose of service or greed?

See teachers ain't teaching us

These books...the content not deep enough

Tell me how can you really put a grade on someone's progression

Reasons why my people in a recession

Struggling trynna make it

Got us measuring ourselves in relations to some fake shit

New Slaves, new age depression ..

 

Can't get mad at the generation beneath you

If you feeding them lies

Souls cry

Don't bite the hand that feeds you

Even if it bleeds you

Souls cry